Truth be told, when it comes to my speech, I care what people think. I don't want people to know that I stutter and if I can use tactics to avoid stuttering I will. Why not? Its not everyday that I meet a fellow stutterer and being the only speech impaired member of my social circle, its important to keep the disfluency at a minimum. Even though my stuttering is manageable with proper breathing (take a breath before I speak), I still think about it everyday. I don't think anyone really understands how hard it is to go through life trying to manage your speech and avoiding embaressing yourself and others.
Perhaps if I had a support group or therapist to connect with each week, I wouldn't be so tense or concerned about it. BUT I don't and that is my life. I find it quite self-righteous when I hear other stutterers try and convince me that it's okay to stutter - 'Just be yourself and stutter' or 'It's your right'. Why the hell would I want to do that? Stuttering is not an option in my world.
Luckily for me, my stuttering is very slight and not considered a handicap by medical standards. Nevertheless, the insecurity and anxiety will always be with me. Such is the life of a stutterer...
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